Home > Uncategorized > “Cooperatively Tomb Raiding” or “Croft and Amazon, Sitting in a Tree…”

“Cooperatively Tomb Raiding” or “Croft and Amazon, Sitting in a Tree…”

Name Change?

The new Lara Croft game has been announced. Not the new Tomb Raider game. The new Lara Croft game. They have decided to drop the ‘Tomb Raider’ part from the name altogether. I postulate one of the following reason for it:

  • Lara is no longer raiding tombs. She is adopting kids from around the world along with her life partner, Detective David Mills. See what I did ‘dere?
  • “Tomb Raider: Lara Croft” just sounds a little too tedious. “Lara Croft: Guardian of the Light” is a shorter and rolls off of the tongue better. Wait…
  • Simon West or Jan de Bont threatened to sue.
  • They’re trying to ‘reinvent themselves’. *rolls eyes*

3D Platformer?

The new game will be playable in a 3D top-down perspective. Why? Again I postulate the following:

  • They’re beginning to sag, so a distant perspective is being used as means to hide the work of gravity.
  • The studio is out of money and can’t afford a proper, 3D boobs.
  • The studio realized that given Lara’s ‘assets’, staring at her butt the whole game was probably not the most prudent perspective choice
  • They’re trying to ‘reinvent themselves’. *rolls eyes*


You will also be able to play coorperatively. Who will be the brave soul crazy enough to fill boots raiding tombs Lara Crofting alongside, uh, Lara Croft? I don’t have a list of hypothesized reasons for this question because I know the answer. From the screenshots, it is obvious that Lara’s sidekick is no other than Amazon from Diablo 2.

Stay tuned for additional details to pop up about this new venture!

Categories: Uncategorized

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