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“Mighty Morphin Power Orphans” or “That Orphans’ Got More Gold Than I Do!”

May 5, 2010 2 comments

World of Warcraft is an expansive universe… and perhaps due to its sheer scale, it can be a little strange. It is a world where the primary means of fighting are with swords and maces and axes and daggers and wands and… guns? it is a world where you travel by horses and bears and griffins and proto-drakes and… choppers? It is a fantasy universe of might and magic and arcanum and ancient prophecies and… spacecrafts? The point is, although the level of anachronism WoW is capable of can be confusing at times, there are elements in the game that go beyond time and space irregularities.

Take the world events for instance. These days it is Children’s Week, where you sponsor an orphan and take him around to see the world and accomplish various (ridiculous) achievements. But there are a few things that throw me off.

First, isn’t it just a little offensive to call your orphan using a whistle, like you would with a pet? Here boy! Come and get it! And as the item description suggests itself, you have agreed to look after that orphan. So shouldn’t you keep the kid in your sight at all times? Why do you have to constantly use a whistle to gain the kid’s attention? Maybe the kid has some serious ADD issues?

Second, how come my orphan can offer me oodles of gold for the plethora of quests (between 6-7 quests, depending on which orphan you got), as a reward for every location I take him to. How does he have access to so much gold? Where does he even keep all this gold? Is this orphanage some sort of elaborate scam? Sucker you in with the promise of some achievements, only to con you out of all your savings, forcing you to mortgage your house, sell your time-share and trade in that Prius for a 10-year old Subaru? Are the kids really not orphans? What the hell is going on man?

Third, as is the case with most companion pets, my orphan can run at the blazing speed of my 120% speed land mount (Crusader Aura: na-na-nana-na!) That is an incredible skill! Where we regular mortals need ground mounts to achieve that sort of speed, these little guys can muster enough energy our of their legs to accomplish the same feat. And if the kid is so agile and dexterous now, how much more powerful will he be once he grows up?

"Help! I'm being chased by an orphan!"

“Tavern of Time” or “Alexton Chrome”

I enjoy world events. Noblegarde, Hallow’s End, Children’s Week, you name it and I am there to participate in the festivities!

These days, Children’s Week is the flavor of the world events. As an Alliance character, you go to one of the Matrons in Stormwind, Shattrath City or Dalaran, and receive a whistle that calls an orphan. It is then your job to take this orphan sight-seeing around the world. (You can do quests for all three orphans if you wanted).

The Dranei orphan you are entrusted with in Shattrath City, Dorna, wants you to take her to go see Zaladormu in the Caverns of Time. When you go to Caverns of Time, you either take the portal from Dalaran. Or you get to Gadgetzan in Tanaris, and ride on over. I was in Theramore prior to this quest, so I decided to take the flight path in. Once at the Caverns of Time, well, cavern, you normally talk to the Stewad of Time (pictured below) who puts you on a Bronze Drake and you fly on down to the instances, paying no attention to the path.

This time, however, I decided for no particular reason, so just ride down on my newly acquired War Bear mount. On the way down I ran past an open door and an NPC standing inside, something I had never noticed before. I doubled back and found Alexston Chrome.

This fellow is the proud owner of a bar in the middle of the flight path called Tavern of Time. If you interact with him, he will even sell you booze like Bottle of Pinot Noir, Flask of Port and Skin of Dwarven Stout. It is little touches like these that make WoW a great game. I doubt 99% of the player population is even aware of Mr. Chrome. But he is there, manning his little corner of the world, waiting to be discovered!

Very cool Blizzard, very cool!

Categories: World of Warcraft